


Five <S>Love Sex</s> Notes That Never Reached the Lieutenant Colonel:

by clouder (selfinduced)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-12
Updated: 2006-09-12
Packaged: 2017-10-18 09:36:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selfinduced/pseuds/clouder





	Five <S>Love Sex</s> Notes That Never Reached the Lieutenant Colonel:

_Dear Sheppard,_

 _You are ~~a SLUT!~~ KIRK. OHMYGOD. Do you HAVE to have sex with EVERY able-bodied Ancient we come across? And what was with that blonde Princess? She had THE most annoying, nasal tone of voice and looked like a LEMON! So what, she had curls, that's all it takes for you, does it?!_

 _I COULD HAVE CURLS!_

 _-McKay_

-

 _Dear John,_

 _Sometimes I get the urge to take you home and feed you cookies and cuddle you._

 _This is highly disturbing._

 _It could undermine my authority on base._

 _I don't even have cookies!_

 _Please stop pulling incredibly dumb kamikaze stunts that save our lives and make me spontaneously hug you in public._

 _Wait, if you did that, we'd all be dead. Nevermind. I'll just try to look all tough and commanding by knocking out five marines at once while possessed by an alien. Yay me!_

 _-Elizabeth_

 

-

 

 _Dear Colonel--uh, "John,"_

 _Please understand that your behavior, while technically forgotten, is only excused because of the influence of the Wraith enzyme which meant you were not yourself._

 _If you ever, *ever* try that while fully in control of your actions, be sure that I will not be so gracious as to not wipe the floors of all Atlantis with your sorry behind._

 _I suggest you stick to alien priestesses.  
-Teyla_

 

-

 

 _Dear ~~Sheppard~~ ~~John~~ Sheppard,_

 _My brains, your ~~beauty~~ brawn, we would be unstoppable. _

_What do you say?_

 _-Rodney_

 _-_

 _PS: Not that we would be making babies. Or anything. I mean, unless you want to, of course, in which case I could probably figure out something in the way of genetic recombinants using that new lab on Level 6 that Beckett was so excited about. But you probably wouldn't. Want to make babies I mean. I mean, I don't want to make babies with you. I mean, what I mean is...oh fuck it._

 

Except the Last One That Did:

> > _Sheppard,_
>> 
>>  _Your hair makes me crazy._
>> 
>>  _We must have sex._
>> 
>>  _-McKay_


End file.
